"Fake" christians vs. faith christians

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/08/27/almost.christian/index.html?hpt=C2

I've read through this article on CNN.com for a few days now - I've probably read it 4 or 5 times so far, and I keep coming back to it because it gets under my skin.

I guess the best way to describe myself is a "Christian deist", though I suspect the author of that book would accuse me of copping-out. It seems that the author of the book (who is different from the author of the article) has a rather strong black-or-white view of not only faith, but how that faith is to be observed.

Growing up as a teen, I was very active in the Episcopal Church. I was an acolyte, I sang in the church choir, I was active with the Youth Group, and I even went beyond the church to participate in regional youth events.

Now, I am the first to admit - I was a bit of a snot during my teenage years. I thought I knew everything, and because I was a snot - I made sure everyone else "knew" that I was an expert on everything. I regret this. But as a consequence of this - there was a vocal group of people that made it their (seemingly) life's work to make me feel uncomfortable as possible in that building. Did I deserve it? Some, probably. I also know these same people hold a grudge against me to this day. So, after leaving HS and heading 3 hours away for my undergrad - I just kind of stopped going to a church. Some of it was laziness, more of it had to do with still "smarting" from the lashings that I had taken during the last 18 or so months I was at that church.

After a while, it became a convenient excuse for me, and I used it as a shield. Then this summer came along and there was a major tragedy in my family.

http://www.uticaod.com/news/x1360231180/Police-13-year-old-charged-in-the-death-of-Yorkville-child

Here's the relevant section, if you don't want to click the link (and I don't):


A mother consoled

Irene Calhoun attended Grace Episcopal Church in Utica Sunday morning, church officials said.

Organist and choirmaster Bruce Smith said Irene Calhoun had been a member of his choir for one season a few years ago, but had to stop because she had so many other commitments.

“She was delightful to work with,” he said, adding that she had sung in the choir when she was younger and loves to sing. “She always came in with a smile on her face and was always ready to work.”

Smith said as soon as Irene Calhoun entered the church Sunday, she was “immediately surrounded by lots of people in the church who knew her.”

Smith said he had spoken with her Sunday as well.

“I basically said to her that there wasn't anything I could say that was going to make the situation better, and that I was just going to sit with her,” he said. “And that's what I did.”

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So, this church, the church I grew up in - was now allowing reporters in? This disturbed and disgusted me greatly. I won't lie - I may never step back into that church again. Or maybe even any church.

OK, now you're asking yourself - OK, what's the point? What does that have to do with anything? Well, I guess that I am living proof that the author of the book is correct - I am a "perverted christian". But I reject that label. Frankly, it doesn't even begin to describe me. I know my identity spiritually. I know and can explain very articulately what my faith is. At the end of the day, my issue is not with the Church - but rather the church. So, don't classify me as a perversion - it isn't black and white.